Parking: For The Brave And Braver
Parking is not for the faint of heart. It is so intricate a pursuit, in fact, only the manliest of men should attempt to use parking as a way to bowl women over. Today’s man-about-town should be able to park any vehicle anytime, anywhere, and under any situation — be it in a lonely basement or a tiny slot, and whether with two hands on the wheel or while holding a liquor flask. Your date would not say so, but secretly, she is rating your ability to park.
Grocery Store Lot Parking
This it the best time to display brute force. Do not hesitate to mow down whatever grocery cart stands between you and your spot. As for spots, under no instance should you angle for a spot. Take the first one you find. It’s a crime to fall in line. You are at the grocery store lot, not by the counter waiting for your turn to pay for the leather wine carrier you picked off the shelves.
Angled Parking
This is the perfect time to assert your superiority. Take up two spaces at the very least. If you’re the over-achieving type, set your sights higher and occupy four. There’s no limit to the space you can occupy. In general, the more slots you take up, the more you can convince your lady friend you’re the man every other driver in the city cowers before.
Parallel Parking
Set your sight on the car in front of the spot you intend to take. Then, slowly back up before making an instant turn. To score extra points, appear extremely nonchalant about the maneuver by puffing on a cigar or fiddling with your cigar accessories at the same time.
Reverse Parallel Parking
Set a reference point, preferably the door lock, door edge, or halfway across the rear passenger side’s window. This point is the spot to gun for before you start reversing into the parking area.
Valet Parking
To accept valet service or not? The answer depends on who you’re with. If your date is gullible or is actually putty in your hands, valet parking is a must. You don’t want her straining her legs before she absolutely has to; that should come later. If, on the other hand, you’re with a woman who is sullen, cynical, ugly, or a blood relative, go ahead and park as far away as possible from the entryway.
Remember, men are often associated with their engines, and how attuned they are to these. To be every inch the modern Casanova, know how to park your car before you decide to park yourself.